The Conspiracy
by Akisis
Summary: Warning: was VERY hyper. Snape/McGonagall, Harry disappears, Dumbledore dies, and Hagrid makes *special* rock cakes! ;-) R/R!
1. Where's Harry?

A/N: I wrote this last December for my cousin in Germany when she wasn't feeling well, and just found it, so I decided to post

A/N: I wrote this last December for my cousin in Germany when she wasn't feeling well, and just found it, so I decided to post this one too. Yes, I was very hyper, and wanted to make her laugh. Besides, I felt like killing the characters off. J

_'Finally!' _Snape thought. '_It is finished!'_ He held up the bottle containing a murky brown liquid. '_Now I can get that old prat of a headmaster out of my way!'_

Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for almost thirty-eight years how, was sipping the usual mug of hot chocolate. "This tastes different," he mused. "Oh, maybe we started using the German chocolate we ordered." He sipped on, then yawned, and looked at his watch. "My, it is getting late. Time to turn in!"

Harry gasped and woke up in his bed sweating. He'd had a most disturbing dream. He lightly pressed his fingers to the distinguishing spot on his forehead, now throbbing with pain. He recounted the events that had just run through his subconscious. _'Snape and McGonagall are dating! They're going to get rid of Dumbledore and take over the school!'_ Harry ran out of his 5th year dormitory towards the headmaster's chambers. "Professor! Professor Dumbledore!" Harry cried as he rushed towards the lump in the bed. As soon as he cane within range of sight, he gave a silent cry. Albus Dumbledore was lying stiff in bed with his eyes open, stone dead. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He ran out of the room and slammed into the wall. BOOM!!!! He laid unconscious for two seconds and got up. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He ran out of the castle and to Hagrid's hut. He fell into a large bowl containing a sticky dough. "AH!" he trying to say, but couldn't breath. "Hagrid!" he rasped, then fell asleep, never to wake up.

Hagrid loved his rock cakes, as did Fang. In fact, he had baked a fresh batch last night. He bit into one. _'Odd, this one tastes different…'_


	2. *Special* Rock Cakes

A/N: Well, back then, my cousin liked the story so much, she begged me to write the second part, and she also got in on the su

A/N: Well, back then, my cousin liked the story so much, she begged me to write the second part, and she also got in on the sugar deal with me, so we could call it a dual-effort. ;-)

_ _

Snape whistled to himself. He was the happiest he'd been in years. _'By now,'_ he knew, _'Albus Dumbledore is out of my and darling Minerva's way!'_ He then put on his usual snarl as he stepped into his classroom containing the 5th year class. He gave a quick glance at the empty seat between Ronald Weasley, with that ridiculously red hair, and that mudblood know-it-all. _'It'd be a shame if Mr. Potter were to miss class on the day of a 200 question pop-quiz,'_ he thought evilly.

Ten minutes into the lesson, he looked over where Harry Potter regularly sat. Staring him in the face was the ghost of Dumbledore! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He opened his eyes. The entire class was staring at him. "GET BACK TO WORK!" He sat down in his seat and started giving F's to all the papers. Suddenly, he noticed Albus Dumbledore again, standing in front of his desk. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed, and fell over in his chair. He climbed back to his feet, the class staring at him once more. "I SAID TO GET BACK TO WORK!!!" He turned about face to find Albus Dumbledore in his way again. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" He raiced out of the classroom.

"Does this mean class is dismissed?" squeaked Neville.

***

"Hey, Ron, where's Harry?"

"I don't know, Hermione, where's Harry?"

"And why did Snape keep on screaming like that?"

"I don't know, Hermione, why did Snape keep on screaming like that?"

Hermione shrugged. "Maybe Hagrid knows."

Ron nodded. "Yes. Maybe Hagrid knows."

Hermione and Ron made their way to Hagrid's hut. Fang greeted them happily. "Hagrid?" Hermione called.

"Hagrid?" Ron called after her.

"'Ey, alrigh'? Where's Harry?"

"We don't know. We thought you might know!" Hermione replied.

"Yeah, we don't know! We thought you might know!" Ron said.

"I dunno. But 'ave some o' these!" Hagrid put a plate of rock cakes on the table.

Hermione gingerly picked one up; it had a strand of brown/black string in it. She broke it open. "Hagrid, these rock cakes are …Hairy…"

"The rock cakes are _Harry_?" Ron repeated.

_A/N:MWAHAHAHA! Any flames received will be used at my next barbecue. ;-) _


End file.
